I’m guilty, I admit it. I’ve looked at hipsters, scoffed and rolled my eyes (silently and to myself) at their clothes and accessories, manners, how they walk, and how they use random esoteric phrases when speaking. And yet despite all of this, until today, I never really thought about/considered or just hard it must be to continue to embody the hipster existence.
I mean, buying organic free trade imported coffee from a country I’ve rarely heard about is not only difficult, but expensive! Driving to the small organic out-of-the-way-free-trade store takes time, money, and effort (but to be realistic, they probably bike there anyway). And then you have to actually drink the brew when Dunkin Donuts is clearly the king of coffee (and probably much closer to where you live).
Let’s get into the hair maintenance. Just thinking about all that hair dye and styling is giving me a headache. Rainbow colors mixed with a deep purple color that’s the color of their aura that month, black that reflects the turmoil within their soul; all of it carefully styled to show the world how little they care of the world and its opinions.
I also have to give kudos to how any criticism, look, or question of any sort results in a withering glare accompanying by the never far eye roll, following by a “psh, whatever; you wouldn’t understand.” I mean, it’s pretty hard to coordinate a mass 2nd grade level retort, but by golly they’ve succeeded. Genius!
Kind of awkward, too, how you can’t really tell the gender of a hipster from behind. Because of the myriad of hair color, length, and styles, the universal love of the hated skinny jeans, and the propensity for satchels, a side view is the minimal requirement with a front view preferable. Even then, it’s not 100% certain! Hipsters, do the world a favor and start wearing armbands to indicate gender or something. I’m tired of using the wrong pronouns and getting those withering glares.. if looks could kill, I would have been killed at least 100x by hipsters. I can just imagine the headline: “Death by the hipster’s withering glare. Wrong pronoun use suspected.”
Now obviously this is (mostly) in jest, so please don’t send me hate mail. I know how quickly you hipsters jump on a cause (KONY 2012, anyone?).
So live on, hipsters. Drink your free trade organic coffee, wear your distressed colored skinny jeans that completely clash with your hair colors, roll your eyes at the establishment, rock it with your Apple products that in no way contribute to the “system,” and live on! You work hard to look like you don’t care, so go to your obscure indie-band concert and rock out knowing that you are unique.. just like everyone else 😉